10 Ways to Celebrate the Holidays When You’re Just Not Feeling Festive
Let’s be real—the holidays can be rough sometimes. With all the expectations to be merry and bright, it can feel even worse when you’re just…not. Maybe you’re going through a tough time, or maybe the season just brings up memories that make it hard to get in the spirit. Whatever it is, you’re not alone, and you’re definitely not a Grinch. Here’s a guide to getting through the holidays in a way that prioritizes you and feels real, not forced.
1. Do the Holidays Your Way
Just because everyone around you is baking, decorating, and belting out “All I Want for Christmas Is You” doesn’t mean you have to. For me, hearing Mariah once is more than enough. If holiday traditions feel too much, make your own traditions. This might mean treating December 25 like any other day, or it could mean ordering takeout, watching your favorite movie, or even going on a solo mini-road trip.
2. Limit Social Media Scrolling
The holidays on social media are basically glittered and edited versions of reality. Everyone seems to be having the time of their life, with perfect families, perfect cookies, and perfect presents. It’s not real, but it can still make you feel crummy if you’re already down. Give yourself permission to step back from the scroll and focus on what’s actually in front of you.
3. Lean Into What Brings You Comfort
The best self-care looks different for everyone, so do what genuinely soothes you. That could mean cozying up with your favorite true crime series (we both know you love it), binge-watching your go-to comfort shows, or even reading a new book you’ve been eyeing. You don’t need to force holiday movies and music if they’re not bringing you joy.
4. Reach Out to Your “Chosen Family”
Sometimes, the best support comes from friends rather than family. If you’re not feeling up to big family gatherings, consider a low-key hangout with a friend who just gets it. Virtual get-togethers work too, especially if some of your favorite people are far away. You don’t have to put on a show for anyone who understands what you’re going through.
5. Practice Saying “No”
Holiday obligations can feel like a chore list you never signed up for. But here’s a secret: you’re allowed to say no. Turning down an invite to a holiday party or skipping out on a traditional family gathering that doesn’t feel right is perfectly okay. Give yourself permission to protect your energy and prioritize what you need.
6. Volunteer or Donate if It Feels Right
Sometimes, shifting the focus can help lift your spirits. Volunteering at a local shelter, donating to a cause close to your heart, or even paying for the coffee of the person behind you can add a little brightness to your day. But only if it feels genuine—don’t feel pressured to do it if it’s not the right fit this year.
7. Take Breaks to Just Breathe
The holidays can feel like a sprint, but remember that it’s not a race. Take moments to just breathe, ground yourself, and remind yourself that the season will pass. A few deep breaths can do wonders to keep the stress in check and help you stay in tune with how you’re feeling. Yoga is my favorite activity to calm my mind and body.
8. Set Boundaries with Family and Friends
If you are spending time with family or friends, set boundaries that help you feel comfortable. This might mean limiting certain topics, excusing yourself when conversations get overwhelming, or politely declining to share every detail of your life. Give yourself grace and space to handle family dynamics in a way that doesn’t drain you.
9. Look Ahead to What Excites You
If the holidays just aren’t your thing, focus on what’s next. Make plans for something in the new year—whether it’s a trip, a new project, or even just a treat-yourself day. Having something on the horizon can make the holiday season feel like less of a mountain and more of a stepping stone.
10. Know That It’s Okay to Not Feel Festive
The holidays come around every year, and some years are just harder than others. You’re allowed to feel however you feel, and there’s no “right” way to get through this season. The only thing that matters is taking care of yourself, even if that means skipping the festivities entirely.
10 Ways to Celebrate the Holidays When You’re Just Not Feeling Festive
The holidays aren’t always shiny and perfect, and that’s okay. Take it one day at a time, embrace what feels good, and let go of the rest. This season might not feel like a Hallmark movie, but if you put yourself first, you’ll get through it with more peace than forced cheer.
