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Cruise News 8/17/18

As I'm sure you’ve heard by now, Aretha Franklin died at 9:50 yesterday morning. Well . . . apparently, two guys in a barbershop in Virginia heard about Aretha's death right after it happened, and they got into an argument about whether Halle Berry should play her in a movie about her life. The argument…

Cruise News 8/16/18

Who has the STORAGE SPACE to commit this kind of a crime? The police in Georgia are investigating after thieves managed to steal $98,000 worth of RAMEN NOODLES. And think about JUST how many packs of ramen noodles that is for a second.  If they cost like 30 cents each. . . that's 327,000 packages.…

Cruise News 8/15/18

People do crazy things when they get dumped. For me, when I get dumped. It usually turns into cases of Natty Light & marathons of the tv show Charmed. I know. I go to a weird place. But this is a new one.  A woman online claims she broke up with her boyfriend Monday night. …

Cruise News 8/14/18

Jessie, a turquoise and yellow macaw, spent three days on the roof of a house in North London. The London Fire Brigade were eventually called to help with the rescue after the SPCA and her owner were unable to coax her down. The bird knows some human words, so the owner told the firefighter who…

Cruise News 8/13/18

If you thought August was going to be a relief after this insanely hot summer, think again.  It's bringing in a whole new summer enemy:  DRUNK, ANGRY WASPS. This is the time of year when wasps go out looking for sweet fluids to drink . . . and they usually find some rotting, fermented fruit…

Cruise News 8/10/18

As far as I'm concerned, if you're desperate to get some sleep but someone's ridiculously loud snoring is keeping you awake, that ABSOLUTELY counts as an emergency! The police in West Midlands, England just released the audio from a call they got recently to 999, which is the British version of 911. The man called…

Cruise News 8/9/18

Police in Myrtle Beach are on the hunt for a man who broke into a woman's house… and stole her corn dog. Cops say the woman came home to find a male intruder inside the house eating a corn dog. He told her that he entered the home because he was hungry. He then grabbed…

Cruise News 8/8/18

Lincoln, Nebraska police are looking for a man who exposed himself to another man… while wielding a sword, no pun intended, early Saturday morning. The second man told police he was sitting in his car, when a naked man approached him with a sword…again, no pun intended. The naked man tapped the driver's side window,…

Cruise News 8/7/18

Participants at a domino event in Germany were attempting to beat the world-record for the most mini-dominoes to fall in one try. But a fly landed on one of the tiny dominoes, triggering the chain reaction and ruining the whole thing. "The fly triggered the chain reaction prematurely," the organizer said. "There was no more…

Cruise News 8/6/18

ALL of us should hope we're this badass once we're old and our kids ship us off to a home. The staff at a nursing home in Germany panicked late on Friday night when they realized two men had ESCAPED. So they called the police, and the cops eventually found the two old guys at…