Nutella to Santa Claus: The Wildest and Most Illegal Baby Names in America
Think you’ve heard it all? You can’t even imagine the names on the Supreme Court’s list of illegal baby names.
SAN ANSELMO, CALIFORNIA – MARCH 27: In this photo illustration, a container of Nutella hazelnut spread made by the Ferrero company is displayed on March 27, 2024 in San Anselmo, California. (Photo Illustration by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)
Before you get too creative filling out that birth certificate, you might want to pump the brakes. The US Supreme Court is actually banning certain names. Yeah, there are illegal baby names! So you can strike King, Queen, and Jesus Christ right off your list. Santa Claus, Majesty, Adolf Hitler, and even Roman numeral III (yes, that’s “I-I-I” as a name) are not allowed.
Those names might seem obvious, but what about your favorite nutty spread? Nutella is a no. Messiah, the "@” symbol, and the number 1069 are also banned. Apparently, the U.S. government draws the line at snacks, symbols, and suspicious math problems when creating its list of illegal baby names.
To be fair, the rules vary by state, but most won’t let you name your baby with numbers, emojis, or anything too over-the-top. So while creativity is encouraged, naming your kid after a condiment or a Wi-Fi password? Maybe not the best move.
Even Worse than Illegal Baby Names ...
While those are a good starting point because they are not only bad choices, but actually illegal baby names, there are still so many names that the general public thinks you should avoid.
No one encounters more baby names than the nurses at hospitals who deal with babies. Victoria is a NICU nurse in Florida, and she got people talking about the most surprising names in a recent TikTok video. Victoria asked NICU, labor and delivery, and postpartum nurses to “tell me the most unhinged baby names you’ve heard.” If you thought Nutella was bad, you ain't heard nothing yet. Here are some of my favorites:
- “Twins in the NICU — one boy, one girl — named Brock Lee and Callie Flower.”
- “Not a nurse but worked on a postpartum floor; twins named Abracadabra and Alacazam.”
- “Twins named Michael and Lil Michael. Mom threatened to beat me up when I laughed. I didn’t know she was serious.”
- “Canon and Crystal. Their last name is Ball.”
- “I work in pediatric dentistry, and we have a kid named Sheep.”
- “Narwhal ... His name was Narwhal.”
- “Teacher here. I had triplets: Lincoln, Mercedes, and Bentley. I also had twins: Bert and Ernie.”
- “Russell, which isn’t bad except the middle name is Mania. Russell Mania.”
