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There are many instances of reviews not aging well. However, this review of a Van Halen concert by a concerned parent is pearl-clutching comedy gold!

Wolfgang Van Halen shared the review via Instagram recently and is embedded below. The review appears to be in the form of a letter-to-the-editor for some newspaper. Neither the newspaper nor the publish date of the letter is listed, but its contents are delightful.

The passage begins, “I took my young teen-age daughter and her friend to the Van Halen concert and was appalled at the entire atmosphere. It was as if we were at a pot party.”

Believe it or not, it gets better.

“They were smoking pot in front, beside and behind us,” continued the very concerned parent. “A man tapped me on the shoulder and offered it to me. Another on the other side of my daughter offered it to her. Van Halen offered the crowd a revealed behind as well as the most disgusting four-letter words you can imagine.”

The parent concludes, “Please print this so parents who allow their young children to go unaccompanied may know what their sons and daughters are being subjected to. If you think this loud, and I do mean loud, music is disgusting, check the words used in the music. This type of concert should be advertised as R rated. Also, what were the police checking people at the door for? Thank you.”

A few takeaways:

1. Calling a concert a “pot party” is something we should just consider doing.
2. This parent clearly had never heard of the term “mooning” before if they wrote, “Van Halen offered the crowd a revealed behind.” Frankly, that’s just funny.
3. What are the most disgusting four-letter words? I’ve run through my own personal list and am just stumped!

 

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Erica Banas is a rock/classic rock news blogger who's well versed in etiquette and extraordinarily nice.