Here’s a sentence I’m pretty sure has never been said before in the history of mankind:  Get your butt cheeks off my rutabagas.

The police in Manassas, Virginia got a call from a grocery store on Saturday afternoon about something VERY unusual happening.

A guy was picking up different pieces of produce . . . dropping his pants . . . RUBBING them on his BUTT CHEEKS . . . and then putting them back on the shelves.

The cops came and arrested a 27-year-old man.  He’s been charged with indecent exposure and destruction of property, and the grocery store had to throw out a ton of their produce because it had been contaminated.

Reason #214 why I NEVER eat fruit!