A 53-year-old guy broke into a Dollar General store in the middle of the night last Tuesday near Orlando, and he stole two four-packs of beer . . . while wearing a t-shirt that said, “This Guy Needs a Beer.”
He could have picked any type of beer, but went with Natty Ice, obviously. . . because you know you’re classy when you’re wearing a “This Guy Needs a Beer” t-shirt.
Anyway, he got away before the cops got there. But he strolled back in DRUNK two days later, and tried to steal some smoked sausages.
The manager recognized him from the security tape . . . AND because he was still wearing the SAME t-shirt. (Maybe his “This Guy Needs Some Smoked Sausages” shirt was in the wash?)
He’s facing charges for theft, burglary, and criminal mischief.